how my life has been...

well...I'm hurt...and in pain....and I'll probably faint because I can't eat anything at all........I'll be waiting....since its the only thing I can do......my foot is bleeding....and the other one has a weird mark on it.....my hands won't stop shaking....my head hurts....all of this just because of reading a book that I have to read at school....I wish I wasn't like this....I don't want to make people upset or worried because of me....I'm tired of always being told I do things wrong......but now that I think about it....I can still smile and laugh and play.....its weird.......tati cut her hair...and Sebastian is coming soon....I feel weird.....I can't think right.....fairies are leaving me.....I haven't seen Nagami-sensei in a while.....or Kim.....or Lyan....or Carla....or everyone else...the only ones I have right now are Kang, Miley, Anime, Storm, Rin, Joey....and him........the people at the hospital are still not done doing tests to see if something is wrong....I'm just hoping they won't find out about....them......if they do its game over....that has been bothering me for a while.....if I mess up its all over....they'll do even more tests and then I'll have to go away....or I'll have to take a lot of meds....and I can barely take 3 right now......I don't want things to keep changing.....I don't want people to get hurt...that's why I'll listen to what she said to me:

"even when I'm broken and I can't get up I'll put on a smile, I'll smile and show them that I'll be fine in the future even if now I'm not"

I've been doing that my whole life....I guess U'll go sleep for a while now....or sing iNsAnITY